Who you gonna call?

One last sparking jewel from me & Emily's Huntsville, AL trip. This was not to be missed (as if you'd have a choice). This was on display in the middle of the street at the music festival.

My favorite gas station

Shell, yes. Tigermart, yes. Daily's, yes. Even a Marathon or a 7/11. But somebody tell me if they've ever seen another Cowboys! Sweet home Alabama, indeed. "Ya'll come back" - I love it!

Don't be those guys, either

I am at a loss for witty banter, but here's something that Emily and I witnessed in Huntsville, AL this past weekend. We were at the Big Spring Jam, and at the time Ingram Hill, Sister Hazel, and Al Green were playing at our stage. I couldn't read what band is on these poor boys' shirts. For history, please refer to Amanda's "Don't be that girl" post below. Say it with me now: You don't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. On top of that, it's another matching shirt violation.

The looks on their faces are great though. Let's make up funny captions. You go first.

Baja (Not So) Fresh

Saturday, Lisa and I travel to Baja Fresh for some dang quesa-dillas (thank you Napolean's grandma) and while we're there, a gentleman of approximately 60 walks through the door and up to the counter to place his order.

While he is waiting on his food, he leans over the counter and treats Lisa and I to the large display of rippage in the back of his pants. Lucky for us, his maroon skivvies prevent any gratuitous parade of crack.

The real question is, did this man know he had a rather large rip in the back of his pants? If so, he's obviously proud of it...

ABS Wants You!

Last Thursday, I'm representing Adtec at the MTSU job fair and our booth is set up next to ABS Global, an artificial breeding company. Basically, they knock-up cows...artificial breeding is just politically correct terminology.

So anyway, I notice that in order to acquire new recruits for their business, they post a rather large photo on their backdrop of an "artificial breeding" in progress. Literally, this man is elbow deep in opportunity...

Notice the caption for the photo..."Enable yourself to promote high quality products and services."

He's enabling alright...

Holland Hair

A common theme during my recent visit to Amsterdam was the bad hair. For your enjoyment, here are some notable sightings...

"The Mohawk-Mullet"




"My Big Fat Dutch Dreadlock"




"Scary Spice"




"Bright-eyed & Bushy-Tailed (or maybe just the latter)"




"I gave myself a sideburn with a Sharpie"

Wall O'Bong

Holland...the land of the wooden shoes, powerful windmills, fields of beautiful tulips, melt-in-your-mouth cheeses.......and bongs???

During my recent trip to Amsterdam, I couldn't help but notice the "high" availability of drug paraphernalia littering the souvenir shops in the heart of the city. Among the cheap tourist fare, this "Wall O'Bong" stood, proudly boasting its rainbow of pipes, waiting to be purchased and loved. Folks, it was a doobie...I mean doozie...

If I may be "blunt," nothing says "toke'n" souvenir like a brand new bong!

Talk Nerdy To Me

While in Amsterdam at the IBC (International Broadcasting Convention), I came across this attendee wearing a t-shirt with the aforementioned slogan, "Talk Nerdy To Me" printed on it.

Granted, it was a technology convention, however, it made me stop and ponder what "Talk Nerdy To Me" actually means.

Is "Talk Nerdy To Me" merely a substitution for "Talk Dirty To Me?" Do geeks across our globe instantly become randy when "Nerdy Talk" is executed?

"Baby, I could recite the Pythagorean Theorem to you all night long!"

"I love the way you look when you're reducing fractions!"

"My protons went wild when you walked into the room!"

What's your favorite "Nerdy Talk?"

Sirvun up hot vittles, from opne to clothes

Picture it: southbound I-65, somewhere between Tennessee and Kentucky, September 2005. A girl makes a much-needed stop at the first available roadside DQ and/or McD's for some refreshment. ("see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty. " ~LMB) She's intrigued by what she sees next door to these eateries: Big Bubba Burt's Belly Bustin BBQ Bliss. I kid you not; if you don't believe me, I'll send you a larger picture so you can zoom in on B-cubed's tee shirt and read it ALL for yourself.

As anyone who was brought up in or around the South can tell you, Big Bubba Burt's is not unusual enough a sight/site to be featured on our TAR blog. However, the fact that the owners of this fine establishment understand the concept of alliteration....and yet can't spell OPEN correctly is. That's some fine schoolin.

Other tidbits I enjoy: 1) the gas tank painted like a pig...because everyone wants to be reminded just exactly where and what their food used to be. It even has a cute little coil tail. 2) you can't really see it in this pic, but the one concrete table for BBBBBBB is painted bright blue, and features a camo patio umbrella...I think it's pretty clear the camo is there to ensure patrons' anonymity. (I'm told if you click on the picture, a larger version will open...or is it opne?) 3) the rearview mirror: evidence that this shot was taken from my vehicle because I was too embarrassed to get close to B^7.

So on which side of the TN-KY border did I happen upon Big Bubba Burt's Belly Bustin BBQ Bliss? Let the debate begin.

dont be those girls

It's a standing rule. You don't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. You just don't. It screams, I want everyone here to see just how devoted I am to this musician/band. But wouldn't everyone already know that, seeing as how you're At the Concert? Well apparently this common-knowledge fashion faux pas escaped these youngsters who happened to be standing near us on the lawn at the Coldplay concert. I won't even comment on the fact they they're wearing matching t-shirts. I just can't even go there. But unfortunately, these gals were not the only offenders I spotted at Starwood wearing the Coldplay Ts- there were many, many more. Let these gals be an example though. Don't wear the t shirt of the band that you're going to see. It's like wearing white shoes after Labor Day or wearing a black dress to a noon wedding. Just don't do it.

the drive-thru fender-bender

Saturday Afternoon. Tell City, IN. McDonalds drive-thru. Mom, Laura, and I are in line on the hill, anxiously waiting to order our lunch. My cell phone rings. It's my Uncle Michael, calling to see where we are, and if we need anything from the store- at least, I think that's what he wanted- When all of a sudden, the car in front of us starts to roll backwards. I start to yell, trying to alert my mom of the impending crash, but moreso because I think the car in front of me will hear me yelling. The car rolls backwards into Mom's bumper not once but twice, and all the while Michael is still on the phone and worried sick because all I keep yelling is Ohmygosh, he just hit us!! over and over. I finally tell my uncle that we are ok, hang up with him, and Mom gets out of the car to check for damage.

But the real kicker? The elderly couple in front of us don't even seem to realize they've just backed into us TWICE, and so they don't get out of their car to apologize or acknowledge us in any way. They simply roll up and order their big mac or whatever they heck those Freemasons eat (check out the liscence plate. weirdos.). Luckily there was no visible damage to Mikey the Beatle Bug, but I was furious! How do you hit another car and not know it? Now That Ain't Right.