Florida Fried Chicken

In the 25 years I have been walking around on this earth, I have never, ever, seen a Caucasian human being with a tan like this guy. I spotted this nugget of fried chicken while in Clearwater last weekend. It's evident that this gentleman enjoys the constant attention provided by Florida's UV index of 10. It was fascination with the abomination. I could not look away.

As if this wallering ball of melanoma wasn't enough, he chain smoked for the three hours I was poolside. I wonder if his lungs are just as black...