That Ain't Right...

Full Moon in Franklin

2011-10-08T23:17:00.000-05:00

There was a full moon in Franklin this afternoon, underneath the kiddie play area at Gentry's Farm. This granola mama and her hippie husband must be so in touch with the earth that she feels completely in her element, being one with nature and letting it all hang out.

Mind you, I spotted this woman before she ever crouched down, when her hippie backpack caused her shirt to hike up, exposing her entire lower back, and I thought, how does this lady not feel that her shirt is pulled up?, and then she goes and squats down, and not only is her back exposed, but her backside...

Yep, that's my darling little boy next to the perpetrator, blissfully unaware of the wardrobe malfunction crouching next to him. Lady, this is a family establishment. Undergarments and belts are your friends. Now folks, that just ain't right.

Sign spotting

2010-06-27T16:55:00.000-05:00

Whilst ordering food from a local burger joint today, I noticed the menu. You astute observers might know where I was, and what my next question was to the man taking my order...

Is there a reason you call the combos, "cambos?" Perhaps it's a kitchy nickname long preserved in the burger joint's reputation, I postured. The man shifted uncomfortably and then laughed, answering finally that it was an error with the sign printer. I couldn't suppress my giggles, as I wondered to myself how in the world the "Cambo" sign was deemed acceptable.

At another fine establishment, the management has gone a step further than the usual "no shirt, no shoes, no service." They also will not serve you if you lose a bunch of weight and haven't had a chance to buy new clothes yet.

the Silver Fox

2010-05-08T16:13:00.001-05:00

I realize that some handsomely graying men are often given the nickname, the Silver Fox. I present to you a different kind of silver fox, spotted at the Carrie Underwood concert in Pensacola on Wednesday night. One who is pushing 60, but stuck in the 80s with her too-tight, can-see-her-butt-crack-silver-stretchy pants. Now folks, all I'm sayin is that ain't right.

Designer Impostors

2009-10-23T15:45:00.005-05:00

I bet you thought I'd fallen off the face of the blogosphere. In truth, it's been so long since I blogged that I actually forgot where I needed to go to add a post! But this TAR sighting was one I felt I needed to share.

I was driving along one of Dallas's busiest roads this week when I realized that the truck in front of me had a peculiar brand name...

In a town where the impostors are so good they are barely discernible from the real-deal (see: Louis Vuitton handbags, Tasti D-lite, female breasts), I wondered if perhaps this "Dodeg" truck was just another in a long line of look-a-likes. The alternative explanation - that the vehicle came off the assembly line with this misspelling - seems unlikely, given that we all know how well Chrysler has been managed in recent years.

We may never know if this truck was an authentic Dodge vehicle or not, but we can surely agree that driving around town with a jumbled mess of a car name just ain't right.

Cheers!!

Butts and Busts

2009-07-22T16:57:00.002-05:00

Thank you, highway 98, and all your That-Ain't-Right glory! It's been a long time, but just because we don't post that often, doesn't mean there ain't stuff all around us at any given time that just ain't right. Here are the latest beauties for you to behold. Both were taken near the Redneck Riviera; Panama City, FL!

This is a gas station called Mr. Cheap Butts (you can't make this stuff up!) that among gas, and other amenities, one can buy... cheap beer and cigarettes!

Someone had a dream... a dream to build and name a store after their favorite civil rights activist, and that dream came true. On the corner of Hwy 98, and MLK blvd in Panama City, you will find this, the MLK Food Mart, complete with Dr. Martin Luther King Junior's picture painted on the sign. Dr. King would be proud to know his face is plastered on the storefront in this shady area of town.

Just in time for Christmas...

2008-11-09T14:06:00.004-06:00

This is awesome and I don't know why no one's thought of it before. From the catalog:

Never curl up on the couch alone again, with this comforting arm that wraps around you as if to say, "I'm sorry work was rotten today," or "No, you pick what we watch tonight," all the stuff you'd never hear from a real boyfriend. Polyester filled with comfortable, snuggly foam. Imported. 26" x 27" Sorry, no rush delivery or giftbag available.

Shocking TAR moment

2008-09-09T15:12:00.008-05:00

Aptly titled because, well, who ever thought we'd ever see another blog post on here, and also apropos for its content.

God Bless the state of Kentucky! Where would we (that ain't right) be without you? I mean, who could forget the Kentucky Waterfall or the nipple tweaker?

But don't take my word for it. See for yourself our latest example: the swanky Express Inn located in Princeton, KY. I am betting they came up with the name for this motel based on the speedy building process, and hasty electrical installation. You the visitor will also want to make your stay as brief as possible, so the name fits. For the bargain price of $45 a night for your king-sized bedroom, you too can get electrocuted in the shower!

Cubical comedy

2007-09-06T09:34:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time!! Here is a picture I snapped of a pile of trash, stacked outside one of my coworker's cubicles. Apparently our sweet cleaning lady wanted to make sure these boxes were indeed intended to be garbage before throwing them away. I did resist the urge to write on their with a Sharpie, "yes, they is." I'm mean, but I'm not that mean.

Man Boobies

2007-04-05T15:58:00.000-05:00

Evening has fallen over the Sunshine State. I'm sitting among friends, waiting to board my plane in Tampa to take me home. Ashley and I are calling dibs on some attractive men sitting by us, when a gentleman walks by and takes a seat across from us. I do a double-take, as I realize that this man has not only a handlebar mustache, but his shirt flapping open in the wind, giving everyone within eyeshot full view of his man-titties.

One might think that this white trash redneck just got held up in security and then accidentally forgot to re-button his shirt. But no, he was proud of his mammaries, and when he spotted our group of lovely ladies, he started flirting with us from his seat. *gag* I'd be willing to bet he was flying back to Daytona...there are lots of his kind there...

Ashley watched in amusement as I sneakily snapped his picture. There's a reason why I carry my camera at all times, and this white trash redneck is a perfect example of why.

Gross TAR

2006-09-13T13:25:00.000-05:00

Well readers, I don’t have a quirky write-up to go along with this one. But it’s been burning a hole in my hard drive since I snapped it several months ago. This is a real funeral home in my hometown of Hot Springs, AR. It’s actually very successful.

But for goodness’ sake people….if your last name is Gross and you want to establish a funeral home, DON’T name it after yourself!

Have a happy Wednesday!

TheologicaL TAR

2006-08-17T14:29:00.000-05:00

I know we’ve all gotten those email fwds that have the pictures of the various church signs- go to church or the devil will get you- that sort of thing- but you never think those things are actually real. Enter friends Mark and Cory who were taking a leisurely drive through scenic Williamson and Maury counties last night; apparently doing some male bonding or whatever, but driving wherever the road may lead them. Somewhere south of Spring Hill, all of a sudden Mark spots something worth doing a double take for, so he whips the car around to get a second look. Cory assumes that they are lost. No, Mark says, we’re not lost. You’re gonna wanna see this. And then they pull up to the Macedonia Freewill Baptist Church and out they hop from the car and take this picture for the rest of us to enjoy. Seriously, I opened this picture up at work and said aloud, Now THAT ain’t right.

Happy Birthday TAR!

2006-08-09T13:00:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it? Our little That Ain't Right blog turns one year old this month. TAR has served to document all of the little social snafus and fashion faux pas we have encountered over the past year.

TAR was born on a hot summer day at Six Flags over Kentucky Kingdom. One of our founders, Lisa, was fond of the phrase, and attached it to any sighting of heinousness we saw throughout the park that day. The idea for the blog was conceptualized in the days following, and the rest is history.

I'm happy to say that the TAR blog has brought us much laughter throughout the past year. It has grown from "something to pass the time" to an institution, with readership far and wide. TAR also marks the beginning of a friendship for six beautiful, intelligent and witty women.

On behalf of Lisa, Sarah, Emily, Amanda, Rhonda and myself, we would like to thank you for your faithfulness in reading.

Please feel free to leave comments about your favorite TAR moments throughout the past year. And as always, happy TAR-ing!

Florida Fried Chicken

2006-08-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

In the 25 years I have been walking around on this earth, I have never, ever, seen a Caucasian human being with a tan like this guy. I spotted this nugget of fried chicken while in Clearwater last weekend. It's evident that this gentleman enjoys the constant attention provided by Florida's UV index of 10. It was fascination with the abomination. I could not look away.

As if this wallering ball of melanoma wasn't enough, he chain smoked for the three hours I was poolside. I wonder if his lungs are just as black...

Honky Tonk TAR

2006-06-19T22:04:00.000-05:00

When the hands on the clock say that it's passed your bedtime, and you've had too much to drink, it might be a good idea to give it up and just go to bed. You simply don't have the stamina and endurance you once had at age 21. So give it up already. I know you're on vacation and you are determined to go out and have a good time. But come on. No one else wants to see your groping session.

As demonstrated by lovely couple number 1 here, no, her head is not gently resting on her man's shoulder. On the contrary, the Missus is passed out on the shoulder of her assumed husband, or at least isn't alert enough to hold her head up, and grubby hubby can't keep his paws off his wife's rear-end.

Thanks to Beth who spotted this TAR moment on the dance floor at Robert's on lower Broadway in good ole' Nashvegas this past weekend. Which, by the way, is one of the classic honky-tonks you need to visit should you ever make a trip to Nashville, just do it while you're awake and sober.

Spraypaint: For that 'custom' look...

2006-06-09T08:40:00.000-05:00

It was a cloudy Wednesday afternoon. I was exiting the parking lot of the Cool Springs Publix when my eyes gazed upon this zebra-esk image (pretty sure zebra-esk is not a word, but let's play along). It was nestled away in the very rear of the lot, you know, to protect it from dings and scratches that could possibly damage this clearly custom paint job.
No lie- I'm glad no one was behind me, because one look at this beaut, and I slammed on my breaks and whipped out my camera (which is conveniently positioned in my purse at all times for occasions such as these!) I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Belly-Up Buddha!

2006-05-31T13:45:00.000-05:00

On the way to Florida this past weekend, we passed this guy riding in the back of a pickup truck. Not only is riding in a pickup truck flatbed, going 80 mph on the interstate, incredibly dangerous, but letting your belly flap in the wind is just plain wrong. We got a wave and a smile out of this guy as we drove by, but I captured his bellylicious glory for permanent infamy on TAR.

2006-05-24T10:31:00.000-05:00

Hello faithful readers! It's Rhonda Lu. I always get excited when I have a TAR post. Today's tasty morsel is, once again, provided by the great state of Kentucky. On Thursday I was riding up to Lexington when this disaster flew past us like a bat out of hell. As you can see, some Kentucky boy has hacked off the back of his Pontiac Firebird in order to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning an El Camino. I'm so happy that the KY education system has such a strong high school shop class program. One thing you can't see is the dog that was in the back. This was a huge black dog, long shaggy hair blowing in the wind. I'm sad that he ducked back inside when I started snapping photos. It would have made the pic that much better.

Ghetto Satellite Radio

2006-05-12T15:45:00.000-05:00

I was on my way home from work last week and pulled up behind this fine nugget of a TAR, and then proceeded to endanger my life on the interstate as I whipped out my camera and took a picture.

Now, I've never seen an antenna this large attached to a car before. From the looks of things, I think we might have a little satellite radio pirating going on. Why pay for XM or Sirius when you can build your own receiver and get it for free???

T-shirts that Crab your attention

2006-05-11T10:49:00.000-05:00

This is a leftover pic from the fun weekend my family was in town that I have been meaning to post. This semi-young gentleman is a friend of my aunt/uncle/cousin and purchased this T-shirt from Joe's Crabshack in Nashville the night before (This pic was taken at the Tin Roof). Now what middle-aged woman Wouldn't want to be hit on by a fellow wearing this shirt I ask you?

Fat Man(?) on a Little Bike...

2006-04-24T11:08:00.000-05:00

Ok- One of my co-workers captured this picture on his cell phone one afternoon after leaving the office. Besides the obvious case of motorcycle abuse, scenes from Dumb and Dumber, or even Chris Farley singing 'Fat man in a little coat' came to mind. We spent about 15 minutes the next day over lunch debating wither the larger rider was a man or woman. Now- if this is indeed two men riding this road hog, then it only elevates the That-Ain't-Rightness of this photo several levels. Either way, two men or co-ed, it still ain't right.

"We just wanted tattoos."

2006-04-20T21:17:00.000-05:00

Some women in Springfield, MO are facing serious health risks after getting tattoos from a DOOR-TO-DOOR tattoo salesman. OK folks, that ain't right. My favorite part of the story below is the description of the homemade tattoo gun.

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. -- Some women in Springfield are regretting their decision last week to get a tattoo from a door-to-door tattoo salesman. At least one person had to be hospitalized and the others face serious health risks. Friday night, a man knocked on doors holding a tattoo gun and offering his services. Tamra Eason described the tool as homemade, but still agreed to pay for a tattoo. So did two other women in her apartment complex. "It was wrapped with black tape, had a pin underneath it, had fishing wire going through it, you could tell it was a homemade gun," Eason said. The next day, Linda Falls passed out and had to be hospitalized. "I passed out in the store and they said I should have it checked out," Falls said. All the women have an infection in the tattoo area and have been told to get tested for HIV and hepatitis. The health department said it's always worth the extra money to get a tattoo from a licensed professional with the right equipment and sterilization procedures."Getting a tattoo is like a wound. There's a risk of disease that may be long term or life threatening. It's a serious decision," said Jaci McReynalds, with the Greene County Health Department. "We just wanted tattoos, and now we're paying for it," Eason said.

When Hairy met Sunny

2006-04-16T22:20:00.000-05:00

One can't go out of town these days without spotting a TAR moment it would seem. Perhaps the high percentage of the out-of-town TAR is that when traveling you almost always have your camera on you for that unexpected photo-op, and it's a good thing (or bad, as the case may be) I had my digital device in hand to capture this unsightly spectacle for you to enjoy. We spotted the perpetrator jogging on Good Friday afternoon- perhaps he had the day off from work to celebrate this religious holiday- it was quite warm in Houston, and I suppose this gent felt the warm weather warranted him going shirtless.

Unfortunately for any innocent bystander who crossed his path, instead of savoring a satisfying sweet from the Easter bunny, they were instead given a tasty treat of eye candy in viewing the full glory of his hairy chest and back! I nearly lost my appetite, but in the name of serious photojournalism, whipped out the camera and did a little jogging myself to capture his fury physique for all to admire.

DIY Surgery???!!!

2006-04-10T13:08:00.000-05:00

Yes, you read that correctly. In today's age of the do-it-yourselfer, we have the food network- showing you, the average Martha or Rachel Ray wannabe, how you too can make gourmet meals in 30 minutes or less- "why bother with expensive culinary school when you can watch our tv show and follow these easy steps to having your own gourmet meal?! "

Or how about one of my favorite channels, TLC, which shows you simple tricks round the clock to redecorate your home on a small budget, taking the old junk in your house and transforming it like new? Sure, the paint might look better if you had a professional come in and do it, and the small construction project, retiling, or flooring might not be as good a job if you do it yourself, but hey, the idea is to save money right???

Well the latest trend in the DIY world has been taken to a whole new level (or World, if your name is Aladin): The Do it yourself Lasik eye surgery. Now instead of leaving those perky medical issues and surgeries to the doctors, we can save time and money by performing eye surgery on ourselves- ignore the fact please that this procedure has not been entirely approved by the FDA (frankly, I'm horrified that the FDA would even consider making part of this legal, but I guess I'm just old fashioned), and follow these easy steps to new and improved eyesight! Simply find a quiet place in your home, take the drugs that they give you to provide minimal pain management (this is the part that's still pending FDA approval- the virtually painless surgery that they claim), shoot the laser in your eye (be careful not to blink!), shoot it in the other eye (again, no blinking you wimp!), and put on your eye mask and allow the proper amount of time for recovery. The pictures do it so much more justice than I could:

Oh. My. Gosh. Words cannot even describe the horror that this suggests. Oh, and PS, so does that mean that after I (tentatively) perform successful surgery on myself that I could take a correspondance class from home and learn how to fly a plane without ever getting profession instruction as well, as the pictures suggest??

"Abreast" of East Nashville Politics

2006-04-04T22:38:00.000-05:00

Perhaps my fits and giggles are characteristic of a 13-year-old boy, but it sure doesn't stop me from finding humor in this East Nashville political sign.

Am I the only one who thinks that John's last name is a little inappropriate??? Or maybe I'm just the only one who pays attention to seemingly insignificant details around me. Either way, I was a bit "titillated" when I passed this sign today.

I hope Mr. Arriola's political career doesn't go "bust" because of his signage faux pas... What a "boob!"

Orange you glad your skin doesn't look like this??

2006-03-02T16:37:00.000-06:00

It's true that I loathe UT's new head coach Bruce Pearl. I know he's done great things for Tennessee's men's basketball program, but when you grow up a die-hard UK fan, it's an impossible task to cheer for UT. That said, I appreciate Bruce's enthusiasm and how he's gotten the students and fans more involved in the game. I even think the orange blazer he dons for big games is a nice touch. However, I would venture to say that our Rocky-Top-ridden coach is dipping into the self-tanner a bit much, ala Charlize Theron at the Oscars a few years ago.

I mean, he pretty much Matches his blazer! On tv it looked even worse- and he looked 10 pounds heavier, but that's neither here nor there. I think it's pretty safe to say that self tanners work, and that they can be overused. My advice to Brucey would be to switch to a shade lighter, say perhaps a Vanderbilt Gold.

Redneck Mary Kay

2006-02-13T12:01:00.000-06:00

Sunday afternoon, I was driving home from church and rubbernecked when I saw this abomination sitting in the P.F. Chang's parking lot. Among the rows and rows of Lexus luxury sedans, sporty Range Rover SUVs, and the occassional mid-life-crisis-Honda NSX, stood this loud-and-proud HOT PINK Oldsmobile. In the land of the Cool Springs elite, this beauty was hard to miss.

Lately it seems as if there is a trend among That-Ain't-Righters of the world to commit heinous acts of That-Ain't-Rightness utilizing the color pink (see the previous blog entry). Maybe the justification is that pink is such a lovely color and will make any situation seem happy and carefree. Maybe it's because the color pink is so loud that one might not notice other flaws on display to the general public. Either way, the owner of this HOT PINK Oldsmobile wasn't gun shy with that can of spray paint.

There may afterall, be an explanation for why this HOT PINK Oldsmobile exists. I bet its owner is an independent Mary Kay salesperson who just hasn't been able to make the sales part of the equation happen yet. Who says that you have to be an overachiever in the Mary Kay empire to drive a Pink Cadillac???

Code Pink: Furry Explosion

2006-02-06T09:03:00.000-06:00

I hate that this picture didn't turn out a little better, but it will have to do because soon after this, Mary Anna was told she was breaking the law for taking pictures at the movie theater. Whoopitty Doo.

I fully support the "functional" shoe. We women stuff our feet all-too-often into uncomfortable shoes for the sake of fashion. So believe me when I say that it's good to have that one pair in your collection that doesn't hurt your feet. But this girl took it one step too far. House slippers are just that...slippers to be worn IN THE HOUSE. And even then, I'm not sure about pink furry ones. It looks like she cut off Big Foot's feet and dyed them pink to match her purse.

And that, my friends, ain't right.

Survivor: Memphis

2006-02-03T08:40:00.000-06:00

In the south, once the warm weather hits, it is fairly common to pass roadside stands along highways or country roads. Most of the time they're selling home-grown vegetables- fresh corn, tomatoes, cucumbers, and melons- or other times stands are set up to sell some kind of homemade craft. Heck, I've even seen people selling fireworks on the side of the road close to the 4th of July. And of course, how can we neglect the junior entrepreneuers and their highly successful lemonade stands?

But then you travel to Memphis. And not only do you witness several drug deals go down, but you capture the most ghetto roadside stand of them all on your camera phone. This TAR moment is compliments of my friend Ben.

Hot Eats, Stanky Treats

2006-01-06T15:32:00.000-06:00

Much love to my family in Indiana, but this That-Ain't-Right moment was spotted by Laura in an Owensboro Dairy Queen. The plastic boobs were in fact still decorating the walls of our favorite Cannelton watering hole, but this find was too good to pass up. The four of us- my mom, dad, sis, and myself, were on our way back to Nashville after spending a few days in IN. We ate a light breakfast at my grandfather's house, so what better place than the DQ to stop and get a coke, or a low-fat... non-fat... blizzard? (that was far you Sarah!)

We get our food and sit down, and Laura asks me if I got any TAR pics over the past few days. No, I said, as I shook my head sadly. Not 2 seconds later does Laura blurt out, "Oh my gosh Amanda, I found a That Ain't Right!" I look in the direction in which she was pointing and confirmed the blogworthiness of this polaroid moment, and much to the curiosity of all the DQ employees who were staring at me as I whipped out my digital camera, snapped the picture for all to see! Only in Kentucky, folks.

chilly feces

2005-12-22T10:47:00.000-06:00

In the classy area of Cool Springs, letting an altered sign like this speak for itself is always the right choice!

Why I (heart) the Ghetto: A Tribute to East Nashville

2005-12-09T10:11:00.000-06:00

I am proud to work on the East side of the Cumberland River in Nashville. Working on this side of town definitely has its benefits. My commute to and from work is against traffic flow. The East side boasts an artsy, creative vibe and is teeming with trendy restaurants and bars, chic boutiques and one helluva organic grocery store.

Oh ya--did I mention that my office is a stones-throw from the ghetto?

While some may consider this an impediment to a peaceful work day (i.e. frequent gunshots followed by police helicopters encircling the neighborhood, the occasional crack-coke exchange out in our back parking lot, etc.), I consider it a blessing for bountiful opportunities of "That Ain't Right."

Exhibit A: The First-Degree Murder Gone Bad. I'm driving to work about a week ago "when what to my wondering eyes should appear" but a soiled mattress with a stain quite queer. I rounded the block again for this one folks, the second time with camera in tow.

Now tell me this...when one attempts to stash and/or trash the evidence of a heinous crime such as a murder, is it accepted practice to display the obvious signs of the crime for all to see? I think not.

I (heart) the Ghetto because it owns "That Ain't Right."

Giving Thanks for TAR moments

2005-11-28T16:44:00.000-06:00

All I can say is I love my family, and I love my family's hometown... BUT... these just ain't right.

First, the Breast TAR-in-a-bar award goes to this plastic pair of
patookas, hanging on the wall in noneother than The Pumper in good ole' Cannelton, IN. Apparently they were part of a guy's Elvis Halloween costume (really. I don't make this stuff up!) and he hung them on the wall where they've been ever since.

Second place, best free-handed TAR moment of the weekend, my cousin Chris asks, hey, do you wanna see a picture of my family? Maybe a little week for this blog, but I was amused.

Next, another Bar TAR that's just wrong:

And finally, observe exhibit A, the Publix man and woman salt & pepper shakers. We’ve had these a few years, and every time we get them out someone has to comment on how the male pilgrim looks like some guy named Russell Bolin that they all know from Cannelton, and so the salt & pepper shakers are fondly referred to as “Russell Bolin and his wife.”

Well Russell, if you’re out there, I sincerely apologize for this next shot. Children under the age of 17, please close your eyes.
Exhibit B; what happens when my family sits at the dinner
table for too long. Idle hands are the devil’s playground,
but we laughed and laughed at this.

Nothing says "I Love You" like...

2005-11-22T09:31:00.000-06:00

A TRASH DUMPSTER?!?! I always thought the quintessential act of love was painting on a water tower in John Deere Green, but it seems times have changed and I am simply out of touch with the current trends. Forget flowers, romantic dinners, long talks in front of a fire, and little notes hidden in unexpected places. Just skip to the most romantic gesture of all...spray painting it onto a dumpster in the back of a McDonald's. Somebody hand me a tissue, I'm feeling a little verklempt. I can just see the Hallmark commercial now. So for all of you fellas wanting to send your loved one a special message this holiday season, don't waste a lot of money on expensive gifts. Head on down to Wal-Mart and get some spray paint for about $2.29 and show your woman how much she really means to you. Take her for a nice Big Mac and fries, and as you pull around the drive-through, she's sure to know how much you care. Heck, if it's your anniversary, be sure and Super-Size it!!

World's Dumbest Homeowners

2005-10-21T15:30:00.000-05:00

Several weeks ago, Lisa and I went to her cousin Chad's house for a party he and his roommates were hosting. Lisa and I were casually chatting up the hotties out on the back deck, when I looked through the glass sliding door and saw Chad & Co.'s security keypad on the opposite wall. Above the security keypad is the not-so-secret security code largely written and taped to the wall for all to see.

Now, at the sight of this, Lisa and I burst into giggles, and shouts of "That Ain't Right" soon followed.

Criminals, Robbers & Theives of the world: Your work has been done for you by these kind homeowners. They've kindly displayed their security code above their security keypad, so when you break into their home, you can prevent the po-po from spoiling your looting fun. Enjoy, compliments of Chad & Co!

Birds of a Feather

2005-10-19T17:12:00.000-05:00

While at Keeneland on Sunday in Lexington, KY, I spotted these young, feathery fashionistas.

"What were they thinking??!!"

I'm glad you asked. I have a few theories.

Perhaps they were converted to hair bows from their deceased subsequently stuffed birds ("pretty bird") and were meant to be good luck charms for their racing bets? Or maybe they're still having their hair done at Club Libby Lu and thought these feathery flowers were all the rage. Personally I'd like to think that maybe they just lost a bet (and not the kind that's on a horse) and the consequences for losing were to don these hideous accessories out in public.

Hillbilly Engineering

2005-10-06T13:22:00.000-05:00

On my way back to home to West Tennessee last weekend, I got a hankering for some BBQ. Around about Camden I decided to stop in at the 'Halfway Mart' (halfway to what, I am not sure) for some lunch and a pit stop. Upon asking to use the facilities, I recieved a key with some fabulous multi-colored danglings to unlock to Women's Room door. (Because at the Halfway Mart, you can't just let the general public be privy to this gem of a restroom!)
Upon entering the dark room, I fumbled around looking for the light switch...but oh no - my wondering hand found a dangling cord and an outlet. 'What's this??', I wonder, 'Ah, yes - classic!" At the Halfway Mart, they don't mess around with silly switches, they go for the direct connect! Between that and the calico toliet, I knew I was getting closer and closer to home.

Behold: "The Calico Comode"

Who you gonna call?

2005-09-30T15:43:00.000-05:00

One last sparking jewel from me & Emily's Huntsville, AL trip. This was not to be missed (as if you'd have a choice). This was on display in the middle of the street at the music festival.

My favorite gas station

2005-09-30T15:26:00.000-05:00

Shell, yes. Tigermart, yes. Daily's, yes. Even a Marathon or a 7/11. But somebody tell me if they've ever seen another Cowboys! Sweet home Alabama, indeed. "Ya'll come back" - I love it!

Don't be those guys, either

2005-09-30T13:12:00.000-05:00

I am at a loss for witty banter, but here's something that Emily and I witnessed in Huntsville, AL this past weekend. We were at the Big Spring Jam, and at the time Ingram Hill, Sister Hazel, and Al Green were playing at our stage. I couldn't read what band is on these poor boys' shirts. For history, please refer to Amanda's "Don't be that girl" post below. Say it with me now: You don't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. On top of that, it's another matching shirt violation.

The looks on their faces are great though. Let's make up funny captions. You go first.

Baja (Not So) Fresh

2005-09-27T15:11:00.000-05:00

Saturday, Lisa and I travel to Baja Fresh for some dang quesa-dillas (thank you Napolean's grandma) and while we're there, a gentleman of approximately 60 walks through the door and up to the counter to place his order.

While he is waiting on his food, he leans over the counter and treats Lisa and I to the large display of rippage in the back of his pants. Lucky for us, his maroon skivvies prevent any gratuitous parade of crack.

The real question is, did this man know he had a rather large rip in the back of his pants? If so, he's obviously proud of it...

ABS Wants You!

2005-09-27T14:50:00.000-05:00

Last Thursday, I'm representing Adtec at the MTSU job fair and our booth is set up next to ABS Global, an artificial breeding company. Basically, they knock-up cows...artificial breeding is just politically correct terminology.

So anyway, I notice that in order to acquire new recruits for their business, they post a rather large photo on their backdrop of an "artificial breeding" in progress. Literally, this man is elbow deep in opportunity...

Notice the caption for the photo..."Enable yourself to promote high quality products and services."

He's enabling alright...

Holland Hair

2005-09-26T15:44:00.000-05:00

A common theme during my recent visit to Amsterdam was the bad hair. For your enjoyment, here are some notable sightings...

"The Mohawk-Mullet"

"My Big Fat Dutch Dreadlock"

"Scary Spice"

"Bright-eyed & Bushy-Tailed (or maybe just the latter)"

"I gave myself a sideburn with a Sharpie"

Wall O'Bong

2005-09-26T15:18:00.000-05:00

Holland...the land of the wooden shoes, powerful windmills, fields of beautiful tulips, melt-in-your-mouth cheeses.......and bongs???

During my recent trip to Amsterdam, I couldn't help but notice the "high" availability of drug paraphernalia littering the souvenir shops in the heart of the city. Among the cheap tourist fare, this "Wall O'Bong" stood, proudly boasting its rainbow of pipes, waiting to be purchased and loved. Folks, it was a doobie...I mean doozie...

If I may be "blunt," nothing says "toke'n" souvenir like a brand new bong!

Talk Nerdy To Me

2005-09-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

While in Amsterdam at the IBC (International Broadcasting Convention), I came across this attendee wearing a t-shirt with the aforementioned slogan, "Talk Nerdy To Me" printed on it.

Granted, it was a technology convention, however, it made me stop and ponder what "Talk Nerdy To Me" actually means.

Is "Talk Nerdy To Me" merely a substitution for "Talk Dirty To Me?" Do geeks across our globe instantly become randy when "Nerdy Talk" is executed?

"Baby, I could recite the Pythagorean Theorem to you all night long!"

"I love the way you look when you're reducing fractions!"

"My protons went wild when you walked into the room!"

What's your favorite "Nerdy Talk?"

Sirvun up hot vittles, from opne to clothes

2005-09-23T13:05:00.000-05:00

Picture it: southbound I-65, somewhere between Tennessee and Kentucky, September 2005. A girl makes a much-needed stop at the first available roadside DQ and/or McD's for some refreshment. ("see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty. " ~LMB) She's intrigued by what she sees next door to these eateries: Big Bubba Burt's Belly Bustin BBQ Bliss. I kid you not; if you don't believe me, I'll send you a larger picture so you can zoom in on B-cubed's tee shirt and read it ALL for yourself.

As anyone who was brought up in or around the South can tell you, Big Bubba Burt's is not unusual enough a sight/site to be featured on our TAR blog. However, the fact that the owners of this fine establishment understand the concept of alliteration....and yet can't spell OPEN correctly is. That's some fine schoolin.

Other tidbits I enjoy: 1) the gas tank painted like a pig...because everyone wants to be reminded just exactly where and what their food used to be. It even has a cute little coil tail. 2) you can't really see it in this pic, but the one concrete table for BBBBBBB is painted bright blue, and features a camo patio umbrella...I think it's pretty clear the camo is there to ensure patrons' anonymity. (I'm told if you click on the picture, a larger version will open...or is it opne?) 3) the rearview mirror: evidence that this shot was taken from my vehicle because I was too embarrassed to get close to B^7.

So on which side of the TN-KY border did I happen upon Big Bubba Burt's Belly Bustin BBQ Bliss? Let the debate begin.

Hidden Treasures de Toliet...

2005-09-20T14:36:00.000-05:00

Need a little boost to get him to notice you? Feeling a bit stale? Well, you're in luck because nestled away quietly in the Mare's room at Silverado's (ie. the women's restroom) is this little nugget that will lighten your smell and lift your spirits for a mere quarter!

While enticed to partake in this scented wonder, we refrained due to a fear that we would not be able to hear the music over the extremely loud fragrance. After much thought, we slowly backed away from the dispenser and and proceded to Two-Step.

'Designer' cologne on the restroom wall for 'One Quater Only'...now That Ain't Right!

dont be those girls

2005-09-20T11:37:00.000-05:00

It's a standing rule. You don't wear the shirt of the band you're going to see. You just don't. It screams, I want everyone here to see just how devoted I am to this musician/band. But wouldn't everyone already know that, seeing as how you're At the Concert? Well apparently this common-knowledge fashion faux pas escaped these youngsters who happened to be standing near us on the lawn at the Coldplay concert. I won't even comment on the fact they they're wearing matching t-shirts. I just can't even go there. But unfortunately, these gals were not the only offenders I spotted at Starwood wearing the Coldplay Ts- there were many, many more. Let these gals be an example though. Don't wear the t shirt of the band that you're going to see. It's like wearing white shoes after Labor Day or wearing a black dress to a noon wedding. Just don't do it.

the drive-thru fender-bender

2005-09-20T11:05:00.000-05:00

Saturday Afternoon. Tell City, IN. McDonalds drive-thru. Mom, Laura, and I are in line on the hill, anxiously waiting to order our lunch. My cell phone rings. It's my Uncle Michael, calling to see where we are, and if we need anything from the store- at least, I think that's what he wanted- When all of a sudden, the car in front of us starts to roll backwards. I start to yell, trying to alert my mom of the impending crash, but moreso because I think the car in front of me will hear me yelling. The car rolls backwards into Mom's bumper not once but twice, and all the while Michael is still on the phone and worried sick because all I keep yelling is Ohmygosh, he just hit us!! over and over. I finally tell my uncle that we are ok, hang up with him, and Mom gets out of the car to check for damage.

But the real kicker? The elderly couple in front of us don't even seem to realize they've just backed into us TWICE, and so they don't get out of their car to apologize or acknowledge us in any way. They simply roll up and order their big mac or whatever they heck those Freemasons eat (check out the liscence plate. weirdos.). Luckily there was no visible damage to Mikey the Beatle Bug, but I was furious! How do you hit another car and not know it? Now That Ain't Right.

Beach bum

2005-08-22T11:45:00.000-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the "beach bum."

For those who don't know, I recently took a trip down to Tampa Bay-St. Petersburg, FL for a little R&R with my sister. I'd mentioned to the other TAR bloggers that I was confident my time on the oh-so public beach would yield some quality photos for our little gallery here....but I was not prepared for what you see to the left.

This is one of those sad and peculiar That-Ain't-Right moments where the actual TAR offense is committed against an innocent, without knowledge or consent. This mama strolled down the coast with her toddler flying Superman-style under her arm, bare booty to the world. As with any good TAR sighting, the question must always be "why?" Perhaps this family could not afford a tiny swimsuit...and then they ran out of diapers too. Or maybe she's preparing for a role as Lady Godiva in a pint-sized play. Or was it the tan line issue? We may never know.

No matter the cause, bless this child's heart whose mother opted to clad her in nothing more than some SPF 30 (I'm guessing it was Water Babies).

Royal Flush

2005-08-19T09:56:00.000-05:00

Last night I was having dinner at Panera Bread, killing time before Bible study. So I'm sitting in my booth and a group of about eight people are at the table next to me. They obviously don't know each other well....from what I could tell (er...hear), they all met on the internet, sharing a hobby known as "Cribs." Evidently, it's some kind of card game. From the looks of the group, bathing is not a high priority for them...in fact, I would imagine Panera is a field trip for them, because they don't get out often!

Anyway, they begin playing this card game and hootin' and hollerin.' All of a sudden, their fearless leader shouts out that he has a "Royal Flush" and he whips out this little, plastic toilet from underneath the table---and then proceeds to flush it! It promptly makes a swishing sound, and he giggles like a schoolgirl.

I quote: "Remember, when you guys get a flush, make sure you hit the toilet!"

In what universe is it EVER okay to place a toilet on a table in an establishment where food is served???

NASCAR fever

2005-08-17T13:18:00.000-05:00

So..... this past Saturday, my boyfriend went to a NASCAR race (John is on the right). As you can see, he had an awesome That Ain't Right moment and luckily he captured it on film. Upon zooming in I've determined that No, those are NOT fake Bubba teeth. (I'm on the verge of thinking this is just plain mean, but I'm posting it anyway, bless his heart.)

I am sure us That Ain't Right moderators would've had a field day at the NASCAR race! Can you imagine?? Wow....what an opportunity.

Frameworthy

2005-08-10T13:56:00.000-05:00

Ok, it's my official debut on the "That Ain't Right..." blog. Thanks for the invite, girls. I hope my pictures will live up to the quintessential example you have set for us all.

I took this picture on a boat tour in Amsterdam a few weeks ago. This cruise is about $20 mind you, and for some reason, this woman thought it was worth $20 to cruise around town and sunbathe...not looking at ANYthing along the way. And just so she wouldn't miss an inch, she hiked up her shirt and unbuttoned her pants. I was with two gentleman, who shall remain nameless to protect their innocence, who did not find this lady very attractive and did not appreciate her "letting it all hang out." To make this picture even better, one of the nameless gentlemen decided to frame her stomach...I think he did a pretty good job, don't you?

PS - I just did a spell check, and it didn't recognize the word "blog." What blog doesn't recognize its own name?!?! That ain't right...

Racing Stripes

2005-08-05T20:08:00.000-05:00

Props to this guy for showing his true colors!

Once again, KY Kingdom supplied us with more eye candy!! Hey-when you're standing in line for 2 1/2 hours in oppressive heat, one starts to look for something interesting...and boy did we find it!

This look reminds me of the old commercial, 'Yikes, Stripes, Fruit Stripes Gum!"

Kentucky Waterfall

2005-08-05T10:43:00.000-05:00

Here is yet another gem from our little excursion to Kentucky Kingdom, aptly named the 'Kentucky Waterfall.' (i.e. the man with the rockin' mullet in the middle of the picture) Notice, if you will, the extra little nugget of 'That Ain't Right-ness' with the hand ever so slightly down the back of the pant! Marvelous really.

I hope you can appreciate the splendor and wonder of the classic 'Kentucky Waterfall.'

-LT

Rhinestone Cowgirl

2005-08-05T10:35:00.000-05:00

Tuesday night at the Ryman Auditorium...typical crowd...Ben Harper groupies, hippies, young professionals and drunk college kids...and the Rhinestone Cowgirl! Denim n' Diamonds, anyone?

The Nipple-Tweaker

2005-08-05T09:34:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday, we were visiting Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom, and decided to have a nice dip in the wave pool after a long day of heat, greasy food and two-hour roller coaster lines. After returning from the wave pool, we came across this woman tweaking this man's nipple. Not only was it a disgusting PDA, but we endured it for what seemed like forever. Folks, this is a family place! Take your kinky nipple-tweaking to the Motel 6 down the road!

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2005-08-04T22:15:00.000-05:00

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